So, you've had a clearing call and are in a group that fits your schedule. Your first meeting is coming up. What should you do to get ready? What should you expect the meeting to be like?
There's not much for you to do before the meeting, but there is a bit of housekeeping.
Before meeting:
Decide where you want to be when you join the call.
Be sure the room is private, quiet and has good lighting.
It's best if no one will overhear you speaking so you can be open and honest.
Other people should not be able to hear what the other men are saying during the meeting. Confidentiality is essential for meetings to work correctly.
Expect to be seated, not lying down. Men's group meetings are not a Netflix show.
Join from a computer, not a phone or tablet. A bigger screen is better for you to see the men.
Ensure your internet is stable. People dropping in and out of the call is distracting.
Install Zoom on your computer beforehand so issues can be dealt with early.
On meeting day:
Finish eating before the meeting. Food is not allowed during meetings. It's distracting for a man to eat during a meeting, both for his sake and the other men.
A beverage is allowed, but nothing with alcohol: water, tea, coffee, juice, milk, etc.
*If you have medical reasons for needing to eat, contact your group leader before meeting and discuss the situation.
Before meeting:
Your group leader will email you a Zoom link. Click it a few minutes before the meeting. We are punctual as a gesture of respect for everyone's time.
During meeting:
The group leader will welcome men into the meeting. Men will likely be talking. They may notice that you are new and introduce themselves. Men talk casually until the meeting starts.
The leader will start the meeting on time, usually with introductions for any new men and general announcements, if any. New men are invited to tell us a little about themselves, including their name, age, where they live, etc.
Generally, meetings will include check-ins, open shares, structured shares, accountabilities, and processes. Everyone is strongly encouraged to participate, but no one is forced. Participation in meetings and any element of them is completely voluntary.
Expect to be just another man in the room. Listen to the other men as best you can. Speak up if you have something to say. The meeting is for you as much as it's for the other men.
Around the halfway point in the meeting, there's a short break, usually 5 minutes, to go to the bathroom, refill water, etc. Men are free to stay on the call and chat if they like.
The meeting resumes after the break and continues until the end time.
After meeting:
Your group leader will add you to the private group chat. We use the chats to stay connected and engaged between meetings. Men post goals for the week. Men also post text, audio and video shares when they have something to share.
There you have it—nothing huge, mostly little things. Joining and attending is easy. The challenge of men's work is to embrace change and growth.
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